Taste In Men
by Smackalicious
Summary: Tony informs McGee of the duty he needs to perform as his partner. McNozzo, so slash. Non-explicit, though. You've been warned. Shameless movie referencing and Placebo song title stealing.


Title: Taste In Men  
Summary: Tony informs McGee of the duty he needs to perform as his partner.  
Rated: PG-13  
Categories: Humor, Tony/McGee  
Genre: Fluff, Humor  
Warnings: Slash  
Author's Note: Written for the Weekly Writing Game on NFA, week 6. Pairing was Tony/McGee, prompt was duty. Makes references to a certain movie, the likes of which should surprise no one.

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**Taste In Men**

"Probie!"

McGee looked over his computer monitor, annoyed, at the man standing there, huge smile on his face. "Yes, Tony? You seem rather jubilant today."

Tony pouted. "And you don't, Probester." He held up a finger. "But you will be soon."

McGee raised an eyebrow. "Okay."

Tony gave him a look. "Don't sound so excited, McGee." McGee opened his mouth to speak, but Tony continued before he could. "Do you have any idea what you are doing this weekend, oh Probalicious one?"

McGee shrugged. "Well, I did plan on getting some writing done . . ."

"Ha!" Tony barked out. McGee frowned. "No longer will you be writing, Mr. Gemcity. I have much more interesting plans for you."

"Okay, now I'm scared."

Tony glared at him, then came around behind him and slapped him upside the head a la Gibbs. "Never forget that I outrank you, Probie."

McGee let out a sigh. "I don't want to get into a pissing match, Tony. Just tell me what I'm being forced into here."

Tony was still glaring, but he moved around and plopped onto the corner of McGee's desk, bending down so their faces were mere inches apart. "Imagine the greatest works of cinematic history all gathered into one night. The likes of the great Gary Cooper, Steve McQueen and of course, Mr. Sean Connery, James Bond himself, all gracing the screen, allowing us to be witness to their genius. That, my geeky friend, is what you have the pleasure of doing this weekend." He pulled back, a satisfied grin on his face.

McGee raised his eyebrow higher. "We're having a movie marathon."

Tony gave him a look of disbelief. "Probie, these are the masters! It's not just any movies! They're the greats! And yet you still look at me with disdain."

McGee gave him a farcical smile. "I repeat, we – as in you and I – are having a movie marathon. Definitely something that sounds like fun for you and not so much fun for me. So why should I be so excited over this?"

Tony gave him a stoic look. "You should be honored to spend your weekend with me. Plus, it is not only an honor, it is your duty as my partner to step outside your own comfort zone, experience new things."

"My duty?" McGee repeated. Tony shrugged. "Let me guess: You couldn't find anyone else stupid enough to sit for 48 hours watching movies we already know all the lines from from you quoting them constantly."

Tony glared at him. "Yes. But," he held up a finger, "you're always my first choice, Probie."

"Well, uh, thank you," McGee said, suddenly feeling badly about harassing Tony. He could just never tell when he was being serious and when he just wanted to haze him. He shrugged. "I guess I can force myself away from my typewriter for a few hours . . ."

"Fantastic!" Tony clapped his hands loudly together and hopped off the desk, just nearly missing McGee's chair then, righting himself, swaggered back to his own desk, sitting and pretending none of the previous conversation had just happened.

McGee shook his head and returned to his computer. This was bound to be an interesting weekend. If he could make it through the two days without killing or at least seriously maiming Tony, he would consider it a success. For now, though, they had work to do, and their planning would have to wait until later.

Tony spun towards his apartment door at the sound of a knock., then sauntered over and peeked through the peephole, a grin making its way across his face at the visitor on the other side. He swung the door open. "Probie!" he greeted, holding out his arms like he expected McGee to give him a hug.

McGee gave him a dirty look. "I brought the provisions, as requested."

Tony continued to grin broadly, rubbing his hands together. "Lovely. What shall we be having tonight? Cabernet, salmon, expensive caviar?" He grinned again, enjoying teasing McGee about the amount of money he had made from his book.

He received an eye roll in return. "No, Tony," McGee responded, thrusting a paper bag at his friend, "just Chinese food and good ol' American beer."

Tony's face fell slightly as he looked in the bag. "Well, you certainly don't spare any expense when it comes to treating yourself, do ya?"

McGee ignored his question, instead reaching into the bag and withdrawing a carton of food. "Just because I have money doesn't mean I'm going to spend it on you, Tony."

Tony pouted as McGee turned away and sat on the couch, opening his container and releasing the aroma of fried rice into the living room. He grabbed a carton of his own from the bag and joined his partner on the couch. "But isn't that what people do, buy stuff for their friends?"

McGee gave him a look, his mouth full of rice. He swallowed and said, "Tony, isn't it enough that I agreed to do this in the first place?"

Tony studied him for a moment, then nodded. "I guess so. But you can't whine all the way through."

"Says who?" McGee asked, his tone of voice sounding suspiciously close to whining.

"Says the person who is actually going to enjoy the movies." Tony fixed him with a steely look.

"I could like the movies," McGee insisted, sitting up a little straighter in his seat.

"That sounds like a challenge to me," Tony said, eyeing McGee.

McGee shrugged. "So be it. I enjoy the movies, you have to do my case reports for the next week."

"Hey now, I don't think I like this idea," Tony broke in, wagging a chopstick in McGee's face. "What do I get if you don't like them?"

McGee gave him another shrug. "I'll do your case reports."

Tony narrowed his eyes, mentally ping-ponging the idea back and forth in his mind. Finally, he nodded, popping a chunk of chicken into his mouth. "You're on, McGeek. I'll bet you can't handle a half hour of this much manliness." He chuckled to himself, reaching over to retrieve the first DVD case.

"I think I might surprise you, Tony," McGee's voice came from behind him. Tony sat up slowly, turning and witnessing the cat-like smile on McGee's face.

"We'll see, Probie," Tony insisted, popping open the case and not looking at the CD as he slid it into the player. He settled back on the couch, watching as the tray slid back inside the machine, then propped his feet up on his coffee table and pressed play. "First up, _007_."

McGee started to roll his eyes, then focused his attention on the screen and frowned. "Tony? Is this a remake?"

Tony _did_ roll his eyes. "No, McKnow-It-All, it's not a . . ." He turned to the tv. "What the hell?"

"Gee, Tony, if you wanted to watch a romantic movie with me, all you had to do was say so," McGee quipped, enjoying being the one making Tony feel uncomfortable for a change.

Tony squirmed in his seat. "There must have been a mix-up at the video store . . ."

"Sure, Tony," McGee said, nodding. "It's just such a coincidence that you invite me over to your place to watch movies, have me pick up dinner, and then our selected viewing happens to be none other than _Brokeback Mountain_. Gotta hand it to you, Tony. I really thought you were more original that this."

Tony glared. "This is not a date, McGeek. I'm telling you, I thought this was Bond."

McGee shrugged. "Fine. I guess I'll just leave, since it's patently clear you have nothing better for us to do." He gave Tony a serious look, then stood up.

"Wait, wait," Tony said, laughing softly. "What about our little bet? Are you too uncomfortable with your sexuality to admit you may enjoy a movie like this one?" He cocked his head a bit, sly grin on his face.

McGee returned the grin and sat down again. "No. The question is, do you really want to be doing my case reports for a week?"

Tony's smile turned fascetious. "I think you better get those writing muscles toned, Mr. Gemcity, because if you like this movie, well . . ."

McGee glared at him. "We'll just have to watch it and see what happens."

Tony shrugged. "Works for me." He turned his attention to the screen again, watching as Heath Ledger's truck pulled into view . . .

_"I wish I knew how to quit you."_

The infamous line spilled from the surround sound speakers of Tony's living room. Cardboard containers lay empty on their sides on the coffee table, surrounded by half-full bottles of Michelob.

A quiet sniffle sounded from the couch. Tony looked over to find McGee holding back tears and let out a laugh. "Aww, poor little Probie."

McGee threw out an arm and socked Tony in the chest. "Shut up and watch the movie, Tony. Can't you see what they're going through?"

Tony gave McGee a look of interest. "I don't know that I can. Maybe you should explain it to me." He flicked his tongue out of his mouth, wetting his lips.

McGee noticed the action and rolled his eyes. "Really, Tony. I'm not gonna fall for your games."

Tony scooted closer on the couch. "Who says I'm playing games, Probie?" he whispered in McGee's ear, as much to get a rise out of him as for his own personal pleasure.

McGee let out a groan. "Fine. I'll admit it. I like the movie. But you know," he turned to face Tony, "that means you have to do my case reports this next week."

Tony's face was now mere inches from McGee's. "How about we call it a truce?" he suggested softly, his breathing heavy and labored.

McGee felt the sudden urge to echo Tony's lip-moistening from moments ago, but resisted the temptation. He nodded slowly. "That might . . . be a good idea."

"Good, good," Tony purred. He didn't know what was happening between them, just that there was this electricity, something sparking between them right at that moment, and maybe it was just the movie talking, but Tony knew he just wanted to . . .

His thoughts were cut off by a pair of soft lips pressed against his. His eyes flicked open in surprise as he realized that McGee had kissed him and he didn't know what to do about it.

Before he could make a decision on his own, the kiss was over and McGee had returned to his previous position on the couch, red-faced. A slow grin snaked its way across Tony's face.

"Oh, Probie, I wish I knew how to quit you," Tony said dreamily, causing McGee to scowl.

"Shut up, Tony."

Tony continued to grin and settled back into his spot, but not before sliding the arm closest to McGee around said Probie's waist and resting his head gently on his shoulder.

McGee smiled slightly to himself. He really _did_ like this movie.

**THE END!**


End file.
